Following Starlights post I thought Id play the Man vs Journalist game too - basically, we post exactly what we wrote back and compare what gets written with what we said...This is an interview I did for the same guy as Starlight, which as he said will probably end up in Penthouse or GQ or something along those lines.
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In your bio it said you reached a point where something had to change in your dealings with women - was there a specific moment where you thought you needed to change what you were doing?
Id been the 'boyfriend' most of my dating life. I had a girlfriend from the age of 17 until and we stayed together all though university. Soon after splitting with her, I began dating another girl who I eventually bought an apartment with and could see myself marrying. We split up after I found out she had been cheating on me and I suddenly realised I was 23 and had literally no dating experience at all. The only way I could get a girl was to get drunk to get some confidence then sit and wait for one that liked me to come and approach me and just try not to screw it up!
A friend introduced me to Love Systems and it was like a light switching on; there was a way for me to be able to approach and attract the women I wanted.
- How gradual was the learning process? Was there a point/interaction when you realised you were on the right track?
It took time of course, but luckily, literally the first guy I met from the LSS (London Seduction Society, a London based forum) was Vercetti (also a Love Systems instructor). We both thought that there had to be a way to get good at this without turning into a creepy 'pickup guy'. Over the course of a couple of years we went out more and eventually both ended up working as club promoters at the high end venues in London and my game massively accelerated.
The turning point Id say was going to an A list after party with a Playboy model as my date, then I realised I was definitely on the right track!
Do you notice a difference between the students you train based on nationality? Are some better/worse with women, or are men pretty much the same everywhere?
Men are pretty much the same the world over! Most have simply had bad reference experiences with women. We always say that its not you the woman is rejecting, its your approach. The problem is guys take rejection personally without realising that she cant possibly be rejecting you as a man, because she doesn't even know you. Once guys make that connection, its like a huge light bulb going off in their heads and they start to understand, and start to have fun interacting with women.
What is the biggest misconception about what you do?
That we try to change who you are.
All we do, is give our clients the tools to present the best version of themselves, and the confidence to realise that if a woman says no to that, its no big deal, you haven't changed as a person, it just wasn't 'on' at that particular time.
Are your friends/family aware of what you do?
All of them yes, and they're all hugely supportive.
I'm proud of doing this, we change peoples lives for the better. Ive lost count of the number of guys I worked with who told me that before coming out with me, that their lack of success with women it literally ruining their lives. Its a hugely satisfying feeling to see the guys post-bootcamp happy and in relationships with the women they want not just the women that will have them.
Most of the techniques we teach are also directly applicable to other aspects of your life. I have one friend, female incidentally, who works in sales but was having a real slow couple of months and was getting really down about it. We worked on her body language and subcommunications, exactly as I would teach in seminar, and also on her self concept from worrying about getting the sale, to being 100% confident it would succeed. Within 2 months she was the number 2 sales rep for her company.
- What do you know now that you wish you knew when you started out?
I used to think I had to get the number/make out/sleep wtih every girl I spoke to or that meant I wasn't getting any better.
Wrong.
Despite what some people may claim, no one can go 5 for 5, no one can win every girl they want.
This is an interactive, social skill set, and as such is subject to the emotions of other people. There may be a million reason why you didn't hook that girl, and just because you didn't, that's not a failure, she may have just had other things going on you didn't know about and therefore can't control.
- How much of this stuff can be learnt through theory? Can someone buy the books and practise, or do they need to be taught 'in-field' with an instructor
Think of game like golf; you could spend 5 years reading all the books Tiger Woods and Ernie Els have ever written, but if you have never touched a 9 iron you're unlikely to stand any chance against a guy who has had 5 live lessons with a pro.
Game is a sociable activity, its about people. You HAVE to go out to practise it, or whats the point of learning? I know lots of guys that never had professional instruction and are all pretty good, but they all say the same thing; I could have become this good a hell of a lot faster if I'd had feedback from someone who has been there.
- What is the biggest difference you have seen in a student before and after training?
The change I see in just the 3 days we spend with guys on bootcamp always astounds me. I had a client at the Super Conference we just had in Las Vegas who was literally shaking with fear - he had such huge social anxiety that he had trouble even just asking the bouncers where the bathrooms were. I spent about 2 hours with him talking him through what was going on in the bar, how we would approach and getting him to practise with me. I sent him to approach two cute blonds and he spent the rest of the night with them, chatting and having fun, leaving with their numbers and a date set up.
I saw him the next day and he was a changed man. Walking taller, smiling, confident, it was incredible and is exactly why this job is worth doing.
Has the media perception about this community changed due to increased exposure or they for the most part sceptical?
Its funny, because really, what is there to be skeptical about? We're just teaching guys how to flirt well and be the best, most confident version of themselves - its not some voodoo magic!
I think that people who are already confident and successful at getting the person they want simply cant understand why it would cause others such issues. As such, they believe that there's no need for what we do. Its funny, because the dating tips for girls thing is pretty much a staple of every advise column in every woman's magazine that's ever been printed, so why is it such a big deal if guys want to learn too?
What do you see as the future of the industry?
Ive seen a huge shift in the core principles since I started learning 3 years ago. Back then it seemed to all be about routines, props and crazy outfits.
Now, there is much more focus in making not just dating, but the rest of your life successful and appealing. This, by default, makes you a more attractive, confident guy as you are on your path to achieving your goals which will obviously filter through into your interactions with women. I could see seminars starting to include business and health concepts too to help create a much more rounded and complete person.
-5.0
The best thing is to go to the club and have women with you. Hit a bar close to the club beforehand and try to bounce over some girls. Failing that, at least try to talk to some in the line as you're waiting. DON'T mention going in with them; just let the bouncers assume you're all together.
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